外在的堅強，內心的脆弱

孤单情人节

2012-02-03T17:42:00.002+08:00

一年一度的情人节又来了.. 想了想感觉上好像真的没有真正的度过一个情人节.. 不是还没到情人节就分手就是他情人节时不在我身边.. 而今年咧？应该也是一个人过吧.. 毕竟我在那么遥远的地方啊..

身边的人一直很着急.. 不止一次告诉我说不要那么的挑.. 难道，想找个真正关心我的，可以给我足够安全感的，成熟的男生真的那么难吗？不是没人追，只是不想乱乱选.. 一个那么忙的人，真的可以给我足够的时间吗？我已经等得很累了，也希望让别人等等我..

角色

2012-01-05T09:25:00.005+08:00

其实，我真的很想知道，我在你心目中扮演着怎么样的角色.. 你知道你让我感觉在你心目中是一个什么吗？我觉得我自己像只小狗，你开心时就会逗着我玩，不开心时把我丢弃在一旁..

当我在fb看到这张图时，我没有犹豫的share 了出来.. 我只想让你知道，我觉得我自己真的很像一个傻瓜.. 期盼当我跟你说话时，你会回答.. 期盼当我sms 你的时候，你会回我..

是有了新欢的关系吗？关系越来越恶化了.. 突然间想起了容祖儿的一首歌-->十六号爱人.. 顿时明白了演唱者的感受..

合久必分？

2012-01-03T16:04:00.002+08:00

又是听到一个分手的消息，无限感叹呀.. 这让我觉得爱情这东西真的没有实在感.. 刚在一起的时候就会害怕说感情不稳定,会说散就散.. 在一起久了，感情稳定了.. 也会发生这种事情.. 那么, 我该相信吗？我还可以相信吗？

不觉得自己可以在承受那种感觉.. 也不明白为什么有人可以游戏人间，享受其中.. 是因为没有把他/她放在心上吗？即使没有，分开了，难道一点伤心难过都不会有吗？或许自己的感情比较丰富吧.. 虽然说听到很多有关他的花边消息, 是真的也好，假的也罢.. 还是会希望说那时侯的他是真的.. 在我生病的时候特地开车去买我想吃的给我.. 为我煲中药汤.. 带我去我想去的地方.. 当我不舒服的时候24小时on-call.. 那时侯的你，是真的吗？

不知道为什么每一段的恋情都是那么的短暂.. 是我的问题吗? 是习惯了一个人吗？

感想

2011-10-16T21:52:00.003+08:00

一切终于都已经结束了.. 结束了我读书的生涯.. 也即将开始我的打工族的生涯了.. 这几年，真的有欢笑有泪水.. 想当年，我们那么大班人的相处，现在竟然还剩小猫两三只.. 其实真的很感慨.. 尤其是当中发生了许多不愉快的事..

有很多事，如果当事人不说，我真的不明白..也不会了解.. 就当作是我笨，就当作我是傻瓜.. 我无所谓.. 只是别当我是瞎了眼、聋了耳就行了..

我，是真的存在的!!! 如果想把我当不存在的人，就请离开我的圈子,不需要打探我的想法.. 反正，对你一点都不重要，不是吗?

我不知道别人是怎样看我的.. 我很想知道每一个人是我的人是怎样看我的.. 不是好奇，而是想知道每个人的想法.. 是的，我很贪心，我想知道别人的想法却不想让别人知道我自己的想法.. 尤其是当我的举动在别人的眼中是那么的幼稚、可笑、愚蠢和无知.. 或许我应该谢谢你.. 谢谢你那么的主意我的一举一动..

我是一个不喜欢虚情假意的人.. 如果不喜欢我，大可说.. 不必遮遮掩掩.. 也不必偷偷摸摸.. 大可以光明正大，因为这个世界上是没有秘密的.. 要知道，如果你早就不当我是朋友的话，勉强的和我相处只会让大家都痛苦.. 不需勉强, 因为我不需要你在我身边..

而且我现在才知道.. 原来呀，死缠烂打对某某人来说是可行的.. 本先不喜欢对方，可是到最后却又被对方占有.. 真的不知道是某某人将就抑或者是对方真的是不可小看的对手.. 那么以后我是不是不要那么容易的放弃? 把时间放在一个没舍可能的地方好吗？不!! 我才不要!! 我可没有那么的唯美，要求些不可能的任务可以实现.. 还是现实点好..

言论自由

2011-09-22T23:18:00.000+08:00

总觉得，这里也不再安全了.. 开始觉得什么都不能畅所欲言.. 只因为太多的电眼在身边了.. 痛苦.. 还我言论自由来!!!!!!!

改变

2011-08-18T12:58:00.002+08:00

真的没想在一个人竟然可以改变那么的多... 只不过是一年的时间，我竟然开始想，我真的认识她吗？亦或着，我认识真正的她吗？

有人说，她其实没变，只是开始想要放纵一下自己，好让自己摆脱以前那么枯燥的生活.. 好不容易解脱了嘛，理当好好享受享受.. 可是我并不是那么的认为.. 我认为，放纵自己跟享受生活是不一样的.. 我不觉得我必须放纵自己才能享受生活.. 相反的我觉得那是自我放弃的一种生活方式.. 人应该让自己越过越好而不是让自己过得越来越颓废..

或许我的想法跟他的不一样.. 可是我不会允许自己过那些别人认为多姿多彩的生活.. 是的，的确，我自己的日常生活也不见得后多么的充实，经常来在床上就是一个下午.. 可是我没有让自己随随便便的.. 而且我也不觉得我那样的生活是很枯燥的.. 起码，有好多的人都没有办法让自己有足够的睡眠，不是吗?

一个女人的矜持

2011-08-11T12:01:00.003+08:00

矜持，或许有些人不明白这两个字的意思.. 矜持，经我翻过字典，它是这样说的..

矜持是：

1. 竭力保持庄重。

2.自鸣得意；自负。

3. 约束。

4. 拘泥；拘谨。

5. 恪守；守正。

如果没有翻字典，我以为矜持只是竭力保持庄重这一个意思而已.. 对我来说，矜持是一个女人必须有的东西.. 我没用“女孩”而选择用“女人”是因为我觉得这个东西无论你是年轻的还是年长的都必须具备的东西..

别说我古老、不开通.. 因为我觉得，矜持是自己对自己的尊重.. 身为女人，若自己不尊重自己，哪怕还有人会尊重你吗？尤其是在面对着爱情.. 如果你卸下对自己的矜持，那么，别说别人不尊重你.. 因为是你先不尊重你自己..

当然我也明白,当喜欢某某人时，什么事你都会觉得无所谓.. 矜持，那又值多少？可是无形中就只会让别人觉得你很cheap.. 贴上大床去乞求别人给自己想要的..

身为女人应当享受被追求的感觉.. 我不明白为什么要把自己弄得那么的贱？难道作践自己会让生活过得更好吗？请原谅我用那么粗俗的话来形容.. 因为我没有办法用更恰当的字来形容了..

曾经听说过，在爱情的角度，没有对或错.. 只有赢跟输.. 只要你赢了，没有人会在意你用什么手段去赢，即使是那个手段是肮脏的、卑微的..

不容许自己沦落成这样的一个人.. 肮脏与卑微的手段也曾经用过，可是自己过得一点都不开心.. 因为觉得自己应以为傲的自尊不见了.. 真不明白这些人时如何说服自己的.. 或许，他们没把自己的自尊看得那么的重吧..

最后的一句话

2011-08-09T06:27:00.006+08:00

曾经听别人说过，当一对情侣无法再继续下去的时候，任何一方在说出结束的话时都不会是实话... 不说实话或许是不想让对方难受, 所以宁愿说些“善意的谎言”让对方好过一些.. 我倒不是那么地认为.. 我觉得，既然没有办法继续下去，没有理由还要说些善意的谎言让对方好过一些.. 因为无论你说什么，分开都是一件伤人的事..

曾经的我还傻傻的相信，他说的都是真的.. 最起码我觉得他没有这个必要骗我.. 可是..

有些人告诉我说，既然分开了，就别那么的在意他之前所说的，因为这一点意义都没有.. 我明白他们要告诉我的讯息是什么，可是心里还是有那么一点的失落.. 因为我觉得，为什么你连对我说的最后一句话都要是谎言咧???

我从来都不是一个死缠烂打的人，只想求一个真正分开的理由.. 然后自我反省，迎接另一段感情..

可是他让我感到迷惑.. 真话，真的是那么的稀有吗？我宁愿你继续保持沉默也不希望你在最后的时候还要骗我.. 如果决定骗我，请不要让我知道.. 因为这样会让我觉得自己很差劲，原来自己是一个不值得以真心话对待的人.. 我宁愿你说你不爱了，不再喜欢了，也不愿看到、听到原来当初的另一半是那么的虚伪..

很多人都问我，你生气他吗？恨他吗？是的.. 的确.. 我生气、恨他.. 虽然已经过了一年，我还是有生气和恨那些感觉.. 而且我知道，这种感觉必须等到毕业后才能慢慢的消失.. 对.. 毕业后.. 当我不再接触到有关他的一切后.. 当我没有办法在知道他的时候后.. 当我有一个新环境后..

知道自己很没用.. 也知道没有必要因为他而生气.. 可是这份执著...让我再度陷入痛苦的漩涡中.. 执著呀执著，可是暂时离开一下下吗？？如果真的有忘情水.. 请给我一杯.. 虽然会忘记甜蜜的回忆可是至少让我忘记所有伤痛..

扮美美

2011-07-02T22:21:00.004+08:00

今天去了姐姐家学了一点化妆的技巧.. 看看这些照片，是不是觉得我画一半不画一半咧？其实啊，我两只眼睛都画了，只是使用了不同的技巧而已...

是不是觉得我右边的眼睛超大的？其实那是烟熏装哦！！我姐说画了我眼睛大得吓死她.. 哈哈哈.. 所以啊，想让自己的眼睛看起来比较大的可以选择画这种哦！我想，两只都画一样的应该会很不错.. XD

滥好人

2011-06-13T20:06:00.002+08:00

那么的自以为是.. 把自己当作是谁？他所谓的上帝吗？滥好人的称呼对他来说永远都是适合的.. 每次都把那些东西往身上扛，又口疏.. 发生事情了，都说什么都是他的错？省省吧！！不知是不是太过清楚了.. 总觉得看太多这些东西就觉得他的虚伪.. 虚伪的很过分.. 我恨他吗？对！没错！！这就是我对他的唯一感觉!!! 这一年来从没变过.. 别问我为什么那么的火爆...只因为我受不了他了！！

短发

2011-05-18T21:11:00.006+08:00

几乎有90% 的朋友都说没有见过我短发的模样.. 好奇吗？其实，我曾经不止一次把自己的长发剪短.. 真的没印象吗？

这张比较长了点.. 短发的照片真的很少.. 可能是提不起勇气去拍吧.. 哈哈哈.. 而这次，剪短后感觉上很少出街.. 可能比较不想出吧.. 所以就在房间里拍了一张照片.. 呵呵呵.. 够短吗？

我想，拿这两张照片对比, 也可以看得出我很明显的老了.. T^T haiz.. 好想回到过去呀~~

讲话

2011-05-02T15:45:00.002+08:00

我喜欢讲话.. 可是我不知道为什么我没有耐心去听别人说，也没有耐心去解释自己说过的话.. 我觉得自己很坏.. 可是不知道为什么脾气很容易就上来.. 解释一遍还好.. 第二遍是已经是不耐烦了.. 第三遍，唉.. 算吧，不想说了.. 不知道为什么自己的脾气越来越不好..

i have no choice?

2011-04-23T19:46:00.002+08:00

i have no choice? 听到这句话时，感觉自己在嘲笑着这句话.. 因为我觉得.. 有没有选择,是在于你是否要选择.. 别随便说你没有选择，因为我知道你是在找着人去相信你是真的没有选择.. 我可没有那么的白痴.. 或许我火气比较大.. 又或许比较冲动、激动.. 我没有办法认真地听你怎样没有选择..

每一件事情都有让你选择的权利，别说你没有选择父母的权利啦.. 这是每个人都没有办法选择的.. 当你成长后，很多事情你是可以做出选择，决定哪条路自己想要、应该走..别告诉我说你没有选择的权利.. 嘿，别人可是没有拿着刀，架在你的脖子上，威胁的让你没有别的选择.. 以我认识你那么的久，我知道，你不想要是没有人可以逼到你的.. 所以，请不要让我觉得我在你的心目中是那么的无知，白痴..

得了吧，不要再做任何的借口去掩饰你的错误了.. 你让我觉得你很可悲..

世纪贱男

2011-04-05T19:23:00.002+08:00

我从来都没有看过这样的贱男.. 也从不知这种贱男会在我身边出现.. 竟然可以背着自己的女友和另一个人搞上.. 在周年纪念让自己的女友在家苦苦等候，自己却和新欢出去.. 他们，也在周年纪念当天结束了将近4年的感情.. 那个贱男呀，还敢敢大声地对所有的人说他和新欢是“好朋友”.. 好朋友吗？真的是好朋友吗？怎么现在在一起了？他的回答竟然是.. 他们“刚刚”开始.. 拜托,骗谁？我们可不是那么好骗得咧！现在的他们，在我们的班上就像是被杯葛的对象.. 贱男还敢要求女友让他加入group assignment.. 做了那么难堪的事，为什么还敢这样做？我真的佩服他的厚脸皮..

曾经那么要好，现在却变成比同班同学更陌生.. 每次看到他们，不禁想.. 他们这样，值得吗？为了对方，失去了大部分的朋友；值得吗？当爱情不再浓稠时，剩下所拥有的，不是很少吗？

个人觉得，如果不是那贱男懦弱，一拖再拖的话.. 这件事不会闹到这种地步.. 早早勇敢承认自己做的错事，或许能得到赞赏.. 而不像如今.. 那么的难堪.. 而那女的，曾经，我以为她把我当成她的朋友.. 到头来原来我就只是他的钟无艳.. 她和他的事，我从来没有在她的口中听说过.. 可想而知我把人当成了朋友，而人把我当成了工具.. 对她，真的是失望透顶..

如果，如果真的有一天皇上和夏迎春分开了，而皇上又告诉钟无艳一切.. 钟无艳只会说.. 这些是你自己拿来的.. 怨不得人.. 打从知道这一切开始，我根本没有看好他们这一对.. 而我，深信那贱男会这样对前女友，一定会这样对会你.. 别说我迷信.. 我可是相信报应的.. 深信不疑....

我们要自己成全自己幸福

2011-02-19T17:30:00.002+08:00

我朋友让我看了这篇文章.. 在那一天.. 一年后的那一天.. 心情莫名的又低迷了起来.. 可能是想起去年的那一天吧.. 让我有无限感触..
这篇文章，写的真的是很对.. 让我不禁问我自己，我有那么的喜欢他吗？还是因为所谓的“不甘心”？

他有那么的好吗？真的有吗？如果有，他不会让你那么的伤心难过.. 所以，他其实并没有你想象的好.. 就这句话--->“他其实并没有你想象的好” 让我反复思想.. 重复的告诉自己.. 没有必要活得那么的辛苦.. 有多少的不甘心，也应该放下了.. 以下，就是那整篇文章..

总以为，我们很爱某个人，会一生一世地爱下去，等下去，直到沧桑变色，海枯石烂。当所有人都告诉我们，不要执迷，他其实并没有你想象的好，但我们，宁可相信自己给自己编织的童话，也不愿相信身边人说的。

　　总以为，爱上了一个人，我们就必须是一辈子不变心，总以为我们是能等到冥冥中的缘份再度重逢。千里姻缘一线牵，当云雾散尽，当两条相交线错开，我们才知道自己不过是当局者迷。

　　总以为自己很爱某个人，爱到会为他做任何事，爱到华丽的背景下直到你那一记落寞地转身。谁先不爱，谁先离开。总觉得，第一个转身的人是最好的，看着最爱的人远去，我们以为就是一辈子，这一辈子，就他了，除他，我们谁都不会再爱。

　　心已经对感情麻木了，泪已经流尽，还有什么是自己该一直坚守，一直等候的呢？有些东西，也许并没有像我们想象的那样美好，我们也没有像自己想象的那样脆弱。问一句，失去他，你真的会去死吗？也许那一刻是的，但十天后呢，一百天后呢，几年后呢？某一天，你忽然醒来，也许你自己都会想，为什么，曾经自己那么放不下，为什么，我们当时会那么地要死不活？

　　其实，我们爱的只是一种心情。来时如百花绚烂，去时如茶荼散尽。我们舍不得的不是别的，只是无畏的不甘心。为什么，在我还爱你的时候你却先不爱了？为什么，当初你那么爱我现在却变得那么冷漠？在心底里问下自己那些话的时候，其实我们就已经不是在单纯地爱这个人了，我们只是爱上了自己的不甘心。骨子里，没有一个人甘心比别人差，谁都希望自己的一切都是美的，无人可比的。

　　我们想着王子公主天真的爱情，忘记了，我们其实是生活在现实中，很多事情必须建立在现实的基础上。爱上一个人，我们其实是爱上一种感觉，只有他才能给的感觉。不爱一个人，就是因为感觉没了。不爱了就是不爱了，再勉强自己也没有用。

　　如果问你，你会怀念曾经爱过的人什么？一定不会是山盟海誓，有的其实是更多很细小的细节。哄你，呵护你，疼你，也可能因为一次的误会，一次久久不来地等候。

　　我们说会等一个人，其实等的已经不是这个人了，只是一种心情，不甘心忽然在的人说离开就离开了。如果他重新回来，你，还会一如既往地爱他，包容他的一切吗？不要那么轻易地说会，用你的心说，你，真的会吗？

　　陷在感情中无法自拔的你，在这个分手的季节里，真的领悟到了吗？对曾经的那个人，也许你真的很爱过，但你不过是爱那个不可能得到的背影和那已经摸不着的回忆。所以，何不选择就此放下，因为，我们自己希望我们自己幸福，我们要自己成全自己幸福……

it's ridiculous!!

2011-01-08T17:09:00.002+08:00

昨天发了一个很长的梦.. 在我的记忆中应该只有发一个梦吧.. 那个真的是一个很不真实的梦.. 可是，比起balloon的，我觉得我的并不算什么..

梦述说着我这个主角竟然被前度情人搞大了自己的肚子，而自己不想因为孩子而跟前度情人纠缠不清.. 由于这个前度情人被我很隐秘的收藏着，而且我又不肯说出搞大自己肚子的幕后黑手是何人.. 就在这个时候.. 那个男主角就出现了.. 呵呵呵.. 他是我班上一个不是很起眼的男生.. 一出场就直接跟我父母说："我负责..." 哇捞~~ 真的是太有型了！！过后，等所有人都散去后，我告诉他，其实他不需要这样做的.. 因为根本不关他的事啊，何必抗上身咧？只见他说了六个字.. 那就是.......... 没关系，我愿意...

呵呵呵... 那时候... 我真的被他感动咯.. 结果就点头啦~~~

我不知道为何我会发这个梦.. 或许，我真的希望当我有困难时，有一个王子来解救我.. 我想要的王子啊，不需要很靓仔，只需要给我我想要的安全感.. 可以不厌烦的听我发牢骚... 这样就够了.. 可是，我实在想不通.. 为什么男主角会是他？？？是一个我真的意想不到的人咧~~想到都好笑~~LOL

影子

2010-12-21T20:25:00.002+08:00

不知道为什么,在他身上看到了自己的影子... 看到他，就会在想.. 自己当初是不是那么的盲目.. 和他的互动是否表现到那么的明显？我不知道... 或许是当事人真的无法看清事实的真相吧.. 我开始觉得对我朋友很不好意思了.. 原来当时的我真的那么的忽视你们.. 尤其是佩蓉.. 对不起.. 我现在终于感受到你们的感觉了.. 请别怪我不将最近发生的事情告知.. 因为，我不想让自己卷入这一场不属于自己的风波里..

原来，不该知道的事，还是不要知道比较好.. 尤其是不关自己的事.. 又或者是自己的性格，脾性吧.. 我会不自觉地想太多有关最近的事.. 我不明白为什么那么容易明白的东西还是有人不明白.. 或许是身在其中吧.. 很多事情自己会说服自己那是对的，因为只有那样，自己才会义无反顾地去进行.. 我知道，站在他的角度来看,这不是个错误的脚步.. 他决定走这一步，是忠于自己的感情.. 可是，忠于自己的感情就可以不顾别的事情了吗？我可以明白他的想法.. 而且，说服自己不是一件容易的事.. 我佩服他的勇气可是我睥视他的行为.. 毕竟，这不是每个人都能接受这样的事..我不禁想，如果我是他，我会怎样？忽视自己的感觉？好像对不起自己.. 忠于自己的感情？那么不就成了那个我自己不喜欢的人了？那么，我还是我吗？说真的.. 我真的不知道如果我是他我会怎样.. 可是，如果我真的像她一样的话.. 我知道，我会打从心里看不起我自己..

如果我是他，我会怎样咧？？思考中......

好累好累

2010-10-11T18:42:00.002+08:00

总觉得最近的自己过得好累好累啊... 可能是自己太绷紧了吧.. 动不动就让自己的情绪影响自己... “让自己的心静下来吧...”总是如此的对自己说... 发现，原来自己也可以那么的平静... 可能已经没想那么多了吧.. 也可能是想通了一点.. 反正人生就那么的短嘛... 何必斤斤计较？让自己活得那么的辛苦? 也仔细反省自己，发现自己的生活圈子真的很小.. 是时候让自己的生活圈子扩大的吧.. 让自己活得更精彩是我当下的决定！！加油！！

该相信什么？什么该相信？

2010-09-29T11:20:00.003+08:00

到底什么可以相信什么不可？这个世界有太多不可信的东西... 有什么是可以让我真正的放心，真正的把心交出来相信人？感觉吗？品行吗？我开始觉得这个世界根本都不适合我.. 是我不想进步还是什么？

有什么人可以告诉我什么东西是可以让人深信不疑而且对所有人都不会有害的？什么东西是真的而什么东西是假的我觉得我自己开始分不清了...

是自己笨吗？什么不知道.. 该知道的不知道，不该知道的都知道... 从以前起，高估自己一个伪装厉害的高手.. 伪装着小丑度过每一天.. 到现在才知道原来自己真的是一个被人玩弄的小丑...

受伤

2010-09-01T16:44:00.002+08:00

最近听到我朋友告诉我，原来，很多朋友在我的背后说了很多很难听的话... 像是，我在用些小手段迷惑他，让他觉得他喜欢上我，他才会跑来追我...其实，我听了很受伤，虽然说我已经决定放下，应该不会怎么受伤才是... 可是，自己的朋友说如此难堪的话，我倒是第一次听.. 而且，使我所不能赞同的话... 你可以说我固执、说我身材不漂亮、说我什么都好，可是，我没有做过他们所说的那样..与其说是受伤，到不如说是不愤气！！从我们分开到现在，我所听到的统统都是说他又多好有多好.. 好像我跟他在一起是根本配不上他似的.. 又有谁会知道事情的真相？

我看过一个故事，讲述着两只动物.. 一只是狮子，而另一只是受了伤的小白兔.. 如果把它们两只摆在一起，通常人们都会说是狮子欺负弱小的白兔，而又有谁会去想是小白兔陷害可怜的狮子咧？而狮子，又能做什么？忍气吞声吗？还是大声解释？只是，怕那狮子越描越黑而已.. 狮子啊，算了吧... 黄连就只吃到这而已... 没有了..

别人只看到他的好，那我的呢？难道没人看得见？

我并不可怕

2010-08-19T13:48:00.002+08:00

我在想，我会不会让人觉得有压力咧？刚刚跟以前就同事聊天，说到好像我上司跟我老板很看得起我，赋予很大的权力... 可是，我不觉得啊... 怎么让我觉得在职场上我也没什么朋友啊？我觉得，我只是比别人多了那么一点点幸运而已啊.. 我什么都不会的.. 别让我觉得那么的压力，好吗？我只是想要过一点平淡一点的生活... 像平常人一样，可是跟同事相处的很好，一起出去，聊聊天.. 很难吗？别那么的防我.. 我并不可怕，也不想要争什么..

一个人的七夕

2010-08-16T17:04:00.003+08:00

就在今天2010年的七夕节，原以为有个人会陪我度过的日子，又让我想起了他... 原因是我知情的朋友在我上班时问我一句：你知道他在面子书写什么吗？我说不知道，结果.. 好奇心驱使下，我去看了，他写：

不闻不问，也是一种爱的方式

可以表现出漠不关心的生活，是为了给对方更多自由的空间..

这样对吗？

我朋友问我，他是说着谁？我说我不知道，我也不想知道，因为只会让我越来越烦... 我不想想太多，真如我所说，不可能的事，想多没用..

可是，我知道，他写得不可能是我... 为什么心里还有那一丝丝的期待他说的是自己？还没死心吗？还是，说服自己他曾经在意过自己？明知道的，明知道那样的期待对自己一点也没用，可是... 是不是太过理智也不是件好事咧？我觉得啊，人啊，有时还是难得糊涂得好，那样才不会过得那么的辛苦吧..

荒缪的日子

2010-08-12T10:33:00.002+08:00

我的荒缪实习日子已经过去了，因为：我的senior 回来了！！她就坐在我对面咧!做什么都很不自在... 因为常常在偷懒啊.. 嘻嘻.. 其实，他并不可怕，还是一个很好的人，可是，可能是因为她很厉害吧，总让我怕下怕下的... >.< 还有108天，赶快过去吧...

我有那么差吗?

2010-08-02T21:40:00.002+08:00

知道我恢复单身的人并不多，可是几乎每个人都很错愕.. 都回我一句：他那么好，为什么会这样？
我听完就觉得很生气，为什么他们不问：你那么好，为什么会这样? 我有那么差吗? 为什么别人都那么说？让我越来越觉得我很纳闷.. 我真的很生气！！！

我有那么差吗?

怎麼了怎麼了？？

2010-07-28T16:45:00.002+08:00

天啊！！我到底做了什麼？平常不會寫錯cheque 的我竟然連錯兩張！！迷糊的我還要把對的那張剪了！！到底怎麼了？我在想什麼？我自己都不懂... 那個cheque 需要兩個人簽的咧... ==||| 之前那個人已經簽了5張，現在只剩下一張了！！壓力還大啊！！！！如果在寫錯，我就要去找她啦！！麻煩咧！！很生氣自己...這麼一點點東西都會一直錯... haiz...

一个人的生活

2010-07-19T22:31:00.003+08:00

很多朋友,看过了我最近写的这几篇后,开始很担心我...我想啊，我应该很少让人那么的担心过吧..呵呵... 昨天，和舅舅家人吃东西，问起了我和他的近况，我很suprise 我自己竟然可以很冷静的去面对这个已成定局的事实，原来，我比想象中的更坦然的接受了.. 一个月了，一个月，不长也不短.. 有人问过我，为什么可以那么快就放得下，我记得我回答她说，啊不然能怎样？在问题还没出现，到出现了，到发现，到解决，我都不停的想，想解决的办法... 或许，这就是我们想得到的解决办法吧...

回到单身，我想，最大的困难并不是忘记他，最大的困难对我来说，应该是习惯回一个人的生活.. 以前，无论做什么事，只要是得空，他都会陪我去做，现在... 得习惯回自己的事情，自己做咯.. 开始是真的不习惯... 可是，在那之前我不就是自己做的？有分别吗？再说，往好的那一边想，最起码我现在日子过得很快，不会像上次那样，度日如年.. 也不用担心为什么没有他的消息，担心他，挂念他... 只是啊，应该没有像上次那样的，那样的uptodate 吧..

最近才看了谈情说案，才发现，其实我们两个在一起的情况真的和他们有点像... 可能是因为那样我才会很想赶快继续看完它吧...剧中的他们，是因为两家人的关系，而我们，是因为她的关系.... 不过，我不怪她，但我生气他.. 我想告诉他，一个人若放不下一个人，请不要和另一个人在一起.. 以为那样可以忘记她吗？算了吧，如果你的心，根本不想放下，无论你怎么做你都不可能放得下的.. “想”和“要” 是完全不一样的东西，我想忘记跟我要忘记你两码子的事,他想忘记她，而我，却想要忘记他.. 我想，那样就可以解释到我怎么那么快就可以放下了吧..

或许，现在说这些还言之过早，毕竟，我还没遇到他，一切，还是必须等两人见到面才知道咧..

朋友

2010-07-15T12:39:00.002+08:00

不知道是不是自己敏感，總覺得自己的朋友不多... 總覺得在一大班朋友裡面總是那個被忽略的那一個.. 是自己的問題嗎？感覺上好像有那麼一點的感覺自己是多餘的那一個似的.. 自問，自己的朋友真的不多.. 知心的倒有幾個.. 有些人說，普通朋友需要那麼多幹嘛？能夠跟你談心的，即使只有一個，也夠了.. 可是啊，那一個並不是可以常常陪著你的那一個啊.. 你也不可能只是跟他出去吧？我想啊，應該是自己的問題..或許自己不那麼擅長團體活動吧.. 通常在一群人中，感覺上自己就只是一個隱形人, 附和著別人的話...

是自己太過敏感了嗎？怎麼感覺上自己的自信心開始一點一點的崩潰了？怎麼覺得自己那麼的不安？那麼的沒安全感？是自己太會想了嗎？還是這是一個事實？一個自己都不願承認的事實？

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有??

2010-07-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

曾几何时,我讨厌起这句话.. 不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有?? "曾经拥有"的意思就是说，未来你们不会在一起，是一句让人很没有安全感的一句话.. 如果是我的话，我不会想要所谓的"曾经拥有" , 就因为你曾经拥有过，当要你放手的时候，你会不舍得，你会伤心、难过.. 如果是这样的话，曾经拥有，真的那么的重要吗？

Avril Lavigne - my happy ending

2010-07-08T17:30:00.002+08:00

有听过 Avril Lavigne 的 my happy ending 吗？最近不知怎么搞的，突然很想听她的歌，结果就下了他的专集来听.. 就喜欢上她这首歌了.. 还特地去找这首歌的歌词意思... 发现，真的很适合我现在的心情... 原本想将这首歌的mv放上来的.. 可是,我不会.. 所以，想听的话，就下来听听吧..

My Happy Ending-Avril Lavigne (歌词)
我的快乐结局 

So much for my happy ending 
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... 
只为给我个快乐结局 
噢... 

Let's talk this over 
我们好好谈谈吧 
It's not like we're dead 
我们不要再装死了 
Was it something I did? 
是我做了什么 
Was it something You said? 
还是你说了什么 

Don't leave me hanging 
别把我丢在这里 
In a city so dead 
在这死寂的城市之中 
Held up so high 
将我紧紧的套牢 
On such a breakable thread 
这一条岌岌可危的细线 

You were all the things I thought I knew 
我曾经以为 我非常了解你 
And I thought we could be 
而且我们可以一直这样下去 

You were everything, everything that I wanted 
曾经 你是我梦寐以求的一切，一切 
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it 
我们被希望成为，可能成为，但我们失去了 
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away 
所有的记忆，曾与我很近，都变得模糊 
All this time you were pretending 
你总是在装假 
So much for my happy ending 
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh... 
只为给我一个快乐结局 
噢... 

You've got your dumb friends 
你有你愚蠢的朋友们 
I know what they say 
我知道他们会怎么说 
They tell you I'm difficult 
他们觉得我太难缠 
But so are they 
但其实他们也是差不多 

But they don't know me 
但是他们一点也不了解我 
Do they even know you? 
他们又真的了解你吗 
All the things you hide from me 
你在我面前隐藏你自己 
All the shit that you do 
以及你做过的那些愚蠢的事 

You were all the things I thought I knew 
我曾经以为 我非常了解你 
And I thought we could be 
以为 我们可以一直这样下去 

It's nice to know that you were there 
很高兴知道你曾经在我身边 
Thanks for acting like you cared 
谢谢你 假装真的很在乎我 
And making me feel like I was the only one 
让我傻傻觉得 我是你的唯一 

It's nice to know we had it all 
很高兴知道我们曾经拥有过快乐 
Thanks for watching as I fall 
谢谢你 在我要跌倒的时候 袖手旁观 
And letting me know we were done 
让我了解 我们就要结束了

做facial

2010-07-03T21:25:00.007+08:00

今天啊,跟我姐去做facial 回来... 感觉如何？痛痹了！！她说我的黑头粉刺很硬... 哈哈... 是这样的咯.. 懒嘛... 没什么整理自己的样子就得该付出一点代价咯...可是啊，给她挤一挤，真的觉得自己的面干净了很多，可是很丑... >.< 她帮我挤完痘痘后，那个地方就红红的.. 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~ 没面见人了啦~ T^T

我真的变了吗?

2010-07-02T17:25:00.002+08:00

很多人,包括我的家人，都说我变了.. 比起以前还没进学院的我来说，他们都觉得我以前笨笨的，很好欺负，可是啊，进了学院后，反而比较凶了... 从我离开学院，进了大学，又有人说我变了... 变得他们一点都不认识我了.. 他们觉得我很陌生... 相隔陌生人多过自己的朋友.. 这是真的吗？我想，只有我自己是最清楚的.. 我依然觉得，我没变.. 我不是固执，坚持说我没变，而是我觉得这是一种成长.. 每个人都必须成长的，不是吗？

记得上个礼拜，我和我姐俩，摸着酒杯底谈天.. 有谈到这个话题.. 她说啊，她真的觉得我变了，变得不喜欢将心事告诉别人，把自己的心墙筑得很高... 而且不喜欢或者说是不再百分百的相信人.. 这点我承认... 我真的不喜欢将我的心事告诉其他人，因为我知道说了，他们也不能帮了我什么，所以我通常选择收藏，收藏在我心的最里边... 又或许是因为我所建立起的样子吧，是个坚强的人，我不能让脆弱的自己让别人看到.. 这可以说是好胜心强吗？我也不懂.. 可能是周遭的环境影响了我吧... 信不信？人长的越大，知道的事越多，越痛苦...

近几年，我身边发生了很多事，让我觉得有时候，我根本不知道那个人是不是在装的.. 他是在骗我吗？伪装起来就因为要欺骗你的家人？连一个几十年跟我在一起相处的人让我觉得他是在装的！你的感受会是什么？不是几天、几个月、而是几年啊！到底我身在何处？为什么都没有一个地方让我感觉到是安全的？我觉得，最安全的方法就是将自己锁起来.. 至少，当伤害到来时，不至于伤得那么的深...可是，当我想全心全意地在一次相信一个人的时候，又让我发现了他是一个很厉害的伪装者... 有时候，我宁愿我还是以前那个笨笨的人，最起码生活得没那么的辛苦，原来，变精了只会让自己更早受到伤害.. 往乐观那里想想，未尝不是件好事咧？早点察觉，早点离开，不需要浪费没有必要的人的身上.. 这些话，我都懂，可是做起来难啊...

我觉得，我最最幸运的就是，我拥有几个真正关心我的兄弟姐妹.. 我拥有很多人都羡慕的姐妹情... 这是我最欣慰也最开心的一件事.. 可是，就连他们，我也没有摊开胸怀的告诉他们我的事.. 上个礼拜也是今年来唯一的一次...

其实，有时候我也是很累的... 我也不想伪装我自己，就像其他人一样... 我只想做回我自己... 真的有那么的难吗？如果这世上，没有尔虞我诈，那有多好？

processing period

2010-06-25T11:11:00.003+08:00

this is wat i get from my friend's blog.. but... wen i can pass this processing period?? take how long??1 hour? 1 day? 1 week? 1 month? or 1 year???

给自己的话

2010-06-24T15:10:00.003+08:00

最近在做什么?连自己都感觉到已经遗忘了这个地方.. 一个很少人知道的地方.. 我想，已经没有人会看了吧？因为将近一年没有写些什么东西了.. 最近真的很不开心... 经常想哭又哭不出.. 哭出来又好像会让家人担心，表面装像若无其事的样子真的很累... 我开始都不知道自己要的是什么了... 以为可以很潇洒，可是为什么心底总是有点揪着呢？是因为还没习惯吗？那么，我希望可以快点习惯.. 习惯没有他的日子.. 我想，这样对自己比较好吧? 原来，理智是不能解决事情的.. 最起码是现在这个时期... 感觉到自己快要疯掉了... 我不知道什么东西会对我有帮助... 已经告诉自己很多很多次了.. 以前，没有他，你也是可以过得很好啊.. 为什么现在变得那么的脆弱呢？一点都不像你以为的自己...你以为你是谁？他没有你会过得更好，而你咧？伤心有用吗? 他不会因为你那样而改变心意的.. 那么你在这里自哀自怜，谁会可怜你？告诉你！没人会可怜你的！！自己跌倒应该自己爬起来.. 就算现在有人帮你，以后咧？有谁可以告诉我，要怎样快速的忘记一个人？我不想自己一直想着不可能发生的事...

working status

2009-10-27T10:44:00.002+08:00

Have a long long period of holiday after I sitting my last paper at 28/9/09. The new semester only start on next year in January.. this period, I feel hard to pass, because damn boring at home while all my friend are busy their things like finding job, back hometown and etc. so I decide out for work rather than just stay at home having boring time every day.

1st job I go to interview is which working at genting. There have only 1 position for you to interview which is dealer. Now only I know, even ur age not yet reach 21, u still can work in casino in every position that they offer to u.. ==

2nd job, which is I felt that they are a cheat company. Y I say so? Cause I dont believe what they had do is same as wat they spoke to the public.. so I refuse to do it. And I learn a lot from that.. like how to convince ppl to trust wat u say is correct and ect.

3rd job, which is wat I have talking now.. as a general clerk in a carpet company. This whole company just me, account executive, 2 boss (brothers), 3 office boy… =.= having a great boring time at there.. lolz…

Wen the office is free, not busy at all, I feel that the time pass very slow.. but, wen the office is busy, the time pass very fast. I think most of the office also like tat 1… lolz

Every day keep working working and working.. haiz.. I miss my study life… I wonder, y I didn’t feel like this when I work as a full time assistant QS in A year???

act cool??

2009-08-16T08:10:00.002+08:00

just heard my uni friend says tat 1 of my college friend says tat py and i act very cool to him... i was so shock wen i heard this.. i'm cool?? i don think so.. i really mind this, tat's y i keep asking my uni friend who is tat college friend say me so.. my uni friend just told me he call tat guy as "weric" , but don know his real name and keep mention tat his surname is "Tan"... i was weird tat time.. almost of mr. Tan quite good relation wit me, how come ppl say i act cool all the time.. after tat, i try to found out who is tat "weric"... finally... i know d... his surname is "tham", not "tan".. tham kar kui (perhaps i didnt spell wrongly..) i keep asking y he say so, but i cant get the answer... in my memory, i just feel tat he is the only guy always keep himself alone, act cool, even ppl talk to him, he also will close the conversation as soon as possible.. then how is the acting cool?? i had try to talk wit him before... but wat his response abit impatient.. then wat should i do?? close the topic and go la.. but now.. says i act cool??? omg... i hope tat i wont be so "失败" next time.. make ppl feel like i am choosing ppl to make a friendship and ACT COOL ALL THE TIME !!!! i really care this sentences.. because i don think tat i am tat kind of person...

selling flower?? nitemare..

2009-07-20T10:44:00.002+08:00

i was selling flower during the convo on last sat.. tat was a nitemare to me.. now only i know tat selling flower was not a easy job.. it consist of alot of things.. we spent alot of time to prepare, but wat v get?? a good experience.. lolz i had been break my own record.. i nvr sleep 2 1/2 hour only a day.. wat cause i do so?? selling flower... =_= after tat i going to klcc buying dresses for my aunt's wedding dinner only drive back to my hometown alone... can imagine 1 sleepy ppl driving a car and take times bout 2 hour??? tat was terrible for me.. after back to home, i fall in to sleep... i nvr feel so tired a day... the conclusion is.... is a good experience to learn something new, but it also is a bad memory for me... lolz

回应

2009-05-13T08:50:00.000+08:00

不久前在朋友的部落格里发现了一篇文章，直觉上是在说着自己，可是另一个朋友却说是自己太敏感了，到后来其实并不是自己太敏感，而是真有其事…其实我不知道是自己给别人的感觉是那么的没有安全感还是什么，我怎么觉得周围的朋友都不太相信我。不是别的东西，就是有关友情的事就感觉到周遭的朋友们都很没有安全感…是我跟每个人都那么好让他们觉得快要失去这个朋友了吗？还是说我对他们还不够好？那么，好的定义是什么？天天见面？天天聊天？还是天天吃饭？虽然我觉得这样是可以增进感情，可是如果没有那样，友情就会慢慢淡化吗？记得我在那里留下了留言，写下对友情的看法。我说，一段友情是靠心来联系的，如果那颗心还在的话，就不怕有淡化的一天。我觉得他有这种看法是因为我不知曾几何时跟他说过，每一个人在每一个阶段都会建立起不同的友情，而渐渐和前一个阶段的朋友没有以前般好。这个东西不是只有我会那样的说，因为我问了好多人，只要是有经历过，他们才会晓得…而我的那个朋友咧，他不能接受我所说的，因为他觉得为什么不能像以前那样，难道说有了新朋友就会忽略旧朋友吗？尽管我说了无数次，他还是不能接受…是我的问题吗？因为这个话题我们其实吵了好久，几乎是每次聊天都是这个话题，然后每次都是不欢而散…其实我已经觉得很疲惫，这个话题让我不停的重复着回答、开解…我曾想过，难道说我们的话题就只有这个？没有别的了吗？不想只有这种话题会出现在我们之间，因为我觉得没意义花时间在会伤害我们友情的话题上，不是吗？如果说要花时间在这种话题，那我宁可没有彼此联络，因为那样都不会影响到我们的友情…

作麒的假期

2009-02-16T20:59:00.003+08:00

作麒的假期在11月27日开始了。那个时候，我们都很少跟他碰面，因为大家都很忙，很难找到一个可以共同享受他假期的时候。等到我们四个真正的得空时，我们有去看戏、吃饭、逛街和打麻将...这次比较特别哦！因为… 我们有去槟城哦！！其实… 我们原本是想去金马伦高原的，可是呢，他的父亲觉得他的“技术”还不能征服它，所以… 希望他的“技术”有天可以带我们上到去咯… 我们在槟城逗留了两天一夜, 由于我们在那里的时间不长，所以我们也没有去太多地方。我们去了他的“母校”（ktar）逛了一圈, 我们去了batu ferringi, 和猴子joe 玩了一会，然后我们就带着疲惫的心情去到了“湾仔角”去享受我们的晚餐。最令人兴奋的晚上来临了… 因为作麒带了一支black label 去槟城哦… 算是第一次和他们一起喝酒吧… 感觉还蛮新鲜的… 最先出糗的反而是他们那两个男孩…那两个女生反而还很清醒的拍下他们疯狂的一面。知道为什么他们这么快醉吗？因为女生牌赢的时候比较多而且喝得比较少咯… 在第二天咧，我们到处走走后便开车回去了… 原来咧，在槟城寻找美食是不可以以装潢来决定它美味的程度的。在越破烂的地方，往往美食就在那里… 在作麒即将回去的前夕，我们还去了云顶一趟…带着了满满的信心前去，满满的失望回来。在回家的路途中，我们还特地地去买了一人一只公仔，它们是阿木、阿put、阿奸和阿怜。它们是我们在槟城发现的,万万想不到，我们竟然可以把玩了好久好久。到最后才决定把它们给买下。而今天，我们在佩蓉家实现了我们说了好久好久的事情，那就是…煮饭啦~~我们有煮虾、咕噜肉、煎蛋哦…还录下了好笑的事情。
其实，这片文章早就应该在作麒上机的前一天就放上去的... 这不过是因为我有些东西还没写，搞到这篇文章迟了好多好多...不知不觉我已经认识他们那么的久了... 在他们当中，我认识最久的就是balloon... 另外那两个以前对我来说其实严格说来都没有那么的熟... 我也不懂曾几何时也慢慢的和他们熟了起来... 我不知道我们现在那样好的友情可以撑到几时，我很珍惜，也不想失去... 让我们的友情就这样的带到我们全都白发鬓鬓的，好吗？？最近看回了以前的那些照片... 觉得如果不让人看看实在太可惜了... 所以咧，我就决定把它放上来这里，有缘的人就会看到的啦... 呵呵...

Nice moment at sushi king

2008-10-20T11:23:00.007+08:00

tat day going to have dinner wit my sibling at sushi king.. there having a promotion... all sushi just RM 2 only.. hehe... so..... eat lo... v reach there around 7 already got many ppl waiting outside jor le.. all "rela" to wait just because of this offer... around 830 only v going to eat our dinner ar.. pity my stomach... haiz.. but.. the sushi very nice... hehe....

this promotion... hehe.. is the reason y i so crazy bout sushi king..

me and my bro... leng zai mou?? but i think he just like la la zai... hehe...

不愿上镜的人....very shame meh?? = =lll

c... this plate got 3 sushi le... normally is a pair of it nia.. hehe...

c how much v eat.. just 4 of us... ^ ^

food and others~~~

2008-10-10T08:27:00.009+08:00

beautiful flower... plant by ball's mum... my mum beh lo... these plant sure die on my mum's hand de... haiz...

c ar c... where r u??? miss u le... without u... ball gonna let us bully jor.. ^^(in fact, if u there, also wont help him de la... right?? hoho....)

nyonya food... quite nice la... but... of course la, cannot compare with the food cook by mum de la... hehe...

mille crape and 100 plus... i know these combination quite weird.. but... 100 plus is the cheapest drink... no $$ ar....

this is the bbq crab la.. which ball not recommend de.. (in fact... very deli le... don know y he say not nice... )

c la.. 1 simple breakfast also got so many secret inside... (eat at ball's dad de restaurant ..)

photo capture during the melacca + seremban trip

2008-10-09T16:12:00.028+08:00

1 big big guy and 1 small small girl preparing something... where am i?? haha... busy capture lo.. hehe...

eat crab lo... ^^ deli~~

last call after v buy this... lucky~~

while i capture this photo, py ask me 55 capture, u know y?? cause she say got other 2 guy are capturing her also.. haha.. full of fascination... hehe...

beautiful view at st. paul hill...

abang ar.. i don wan capture u le.. can tepi ar.. abang?? tepi la abang.... u don know chinese ar?? ask u tepi ar.... wei..... haiz... suan la... sure don know chinese 1... = =lll

so cun... full house ar.. c or not?? haha...

mille crepe... introduce by my friend.. v take 2 different flavor... 1 is original another 1 is rum raisin... nice.... ^^

huh??? y the mille crepe like a shit jor de?? the fork at the right hand side 1 is mine 1.. sure not i make it de lo.. then who make it???

huh?? who's hand?? who spoil jor this cake??

ball!! don act like tat.. is u eat till tat de!!!

wen ball become like this jor...= =lll

as wat i thinking... is sweet memory o...

today special??

this shop.. really recommend ar... ^^

take inside the car while going to the pd... i really not gam to wear glasses ar... very bad... =_=lll

beautiful sea.. let me edit till like this.. hehe...

c how hard he driving.... i c also tired ar..

the next day, going to pd.. who make us de trip delay?? c on the 1st pic already know jor lo.. ^^

melacca + seremban trip at 1st of Oct 2008

2008-10-09T15:51:00.002+08:00

Is my turn again to write a blog related to our trip... Hehe... This time, v goes to ball's ht which located at negeri sembilan... This time, our dearest- cc didn't go, that is because of cc now at aus studying... So bad... But v never forget u o... Haha... V goes where also think of u... Hoho... Because of that day is a public holiday, so v decides travel ktm to seremban lo... The stupid ball lo... Give me a wrong time estimate, causing me late to join wit py which suppose waiting me inside the train... Hehe... Cannot say ball also geh... He also estimate only ma... Finally, I successfully met py n reach together with her at station seremban... Because of the train delay about 1 hour, causing our plan all also delay about 1 hour... Around 12 v just start travel to the Malacca... On the way to the Malacca, v saw an accident happened on the highway! Really omg! The whole car terbalik jor!! The weirdest things is, only 1 car involved in this accident... I also wanna know how it could be happen... Lucky wat I notice was, no one was injured on this accident... Actually, the 1st place v plan to go is to the 'Au Yin Hill'... But... I think is lack of maintenance,(but ball say zap lap jor) cause all view gone... N, v can't get inside to capture pic... (In fact, if can in, I don’t think that I will go lo... Loss attractive after saw the front gate...) after tat ball wanna go to zoo but two of girls decide wanna go to town to heal our stomach... Argue awhile, finally ball drive 1 round at the parking area of the zoo, without take notice of our argument... But... No parking place at all! Hoho... No choice, ball gonna fetch us to the town... Hehe... The day before v go, I had chat with my friend which study at Malacca, he got intro some deli food for me to have a try n told me that there will be very jam during the public holiday... Haiz... As wat he said... There, really very jam!!! V waste alot of time inside the car... Haiz... Just park the car if v found there had a parking although is far from the place which v plan to go... V go to the jonker street to have a cendol ais, the things v felt proud is that v re the last call for the cendol ais!! Hoho... How lucky v re!!! But... The cendol not so nice... The coconut milk put too much jor... Can't taste probably other things jor... Just like drinking the coconut milk only... V went to the st. Paul hill to capture the beautiful pic which last time v are not able to leave our sweet memory there... Hehe... After that v went to pahlawan mall to reserve the dessert which intro by my friend... Hehe... (Scare finish ma... Sure need to reserve de...)
Is time for us to have our dinner jor, n... Consider of public holiday will be many ppl go to eat the "satay celup", v decide go around 5pm to the restaurant n waiting the restaurant to open at 530 then v can be the 1st customer to have it... But... After v turn into the street, omg!!! Already so many ppl re waiting outside!! N the restaurant is full of ppl jor... So v decide to have nyonya food as our dinner...

This nyonya restaurant also very geng, they open at 6, but 615 already full house... Haha... So exaggerate, right? I also can't believe it... How the taste? Quite nice lo... Can c the pic which publishes together with this blog... Before v get in, v still worrying will "get in the car" or not... But, once they put the "full house" signal board out, v already know that v chosen a correct restaurant...The design of restaurant are quite nice taste in art, full of nyonya feel….. After that v return back to the pahlawan mall to have our dessert after v finish our dinner... V having quite funny moment there... Haha... Like ball langgar the tree n nearly “PK”... Wahaha... Really funny... After the crazy moment, then v finish the trip of Malacca jor lo...

after back from that, feeling the things is quite nice, the bad things is weather not good n too many ppl there jor... So decided won't go there during public holiday jor.

Back to seremban, 1st 1st go to da pao the bbq crab n 2 bottles of beer plus a little bottle's which I bring from my house... Hehe... Ball got shows us his photo... Wahaha... Totally different!! I can't identify him based on the photo... Hoho... Ball ar... Not purposely laugh on u... But... Really different la... Hehe... After that all beh tahan already... Going to zzz jor...

Initially say 7am wake up, but ball till 745am only wake up... Some more yesterday someone still say will wake up sharp on 7 tim... V having breakfast on his dad's restaurant... How's taste? Hoho... Check it out on the pic la... Not dare to give comment here...(But when we getting de breakfast we found some “secret “ inside..…Wahaha... ) 9 something till 12, having some crazy action on the port Dickson there... Hoho... Actually say crazy also not so crazy la... Just doing abit non-sense things there only... Blow water ar, collect shell ar etc... Then back to seremban again... buying siu bao and egg tart, finish eating n bathing then say bye bye to seremban lo... Hoho...

the pd trip, can check on the photo tat take by me... so tired and no energy to continue write jor... the things i wan to say is, almost the restaurant tat we went through almost have the logo of "Ho Chak"... hehe.. means got guarantee 1... hehe... so gam...

finally...

2008-09-22T09:01:00.001+08:00

Finally I had finished my exam jor… many friend asking me, know how to do or not? Or can pass or not?? Actually, I don know at all… I not dare to check my answer whether is correct or not… just keep it as a secret until the result come out ba… now I don wan think too much on this… tat will me feel very stress… pass or not, already decide when I pass my answer to the examiner… that wat I can do… others… god bless me…

shit guy

2008-08-25T17:30:00.007+08:00

Who can know which animals are showing on top?? All are made with sugar, can eat and display… but, I don’t think so that can keep very long at Malaysia, hot weather here… actually still got a rabbit which I hope can show you all de, but… A “blind man” collides with me and the rabbit broken already… The thing happened so suddenly and I just shock at there for about 3 sec… That rabbit I haven’t watch carefully already broken!! And the most worst is that guy didn’t say anything to me and just walk away!! What the Fxxk!!!! 5 minutes ago I just brought it only!!! Just owned awhile then gone!!! Really shit that guy… even sorry also didn’t say, nowadays people all is like that de ar?? After collide people even sorry also didn’t say?? Is I less going out facing this kind of problem or is the “blind man” impolite?? I really want to know what they had study during their school life… if I not forget, that guy is around 20++ already… not a child!! How come he can act like nothing was happening just now!!!! Really damn enough la… I am very angry about that, I am very sad to loss the rabbit, I am very hate that guy also… hey man, only about 5 minutes to own a things… what is your feeling if you were me??? Really moody to think of it again… Some more that rabbit is nicer than this one le… even photo also haven’t take already crush by others…really regret ar…

one day trip at-------> 1 U

2008-07-24T10:58:00.012+08:00

Is time for me to write something on my BlogSpot jor… Now going to write something about our activity… Our means have me, ah c (Royce), ball (balloon) and py (pei yung) la. We went to 1 u last sun, (20 of July 2008) sing k fetch by our ah c lo… (I was so surprise that he did not late on that day) haha… Who believe that we able to walk whole day in 1 u?? We went to old wing, then back to new wing, then back to old wing again and again… haha.. Just guess we spent how many hours in 1 u…. I think no one will be believed, we get in at 1057… then we pay the parking ticket at 2207… really omg!! Looks like we are going to work at there… haha… exaggerate le!! I cannot imagine that I can walk whole day since I have working as an office lady now… haha… All of us just having a simple breakfast, that is biscuit brought by py which requested by ball… We having our lunch at Neway, I still can remember that ball while eating but still can singing… of course la, the sound is bad… wahaha… next time remember to finish the food inside your mouth only sing la… No need so rush de, we won’t “rebut” wit you 1… after finish sing k, we going to buy Mr. ball de tie… We went to “My Tie Shop” to buy his tie, initially we ask the staff choose for him, I don’t know why she chooses the old style tie to ball… haha… maybe is relevant to her age lo… but finally he get his tie. Later can view the photo which I attach at below… after tie then shoe… I don’t want to imagine the condition while we going to buy ball’s shoe… He is so “yim jim”, this 1 cannot that 1 cannot… but finally he also can found his favorite… the shoe will appear at below too!! So, leave some comment about that shoe la (our friend’s favorite le…)… after that we having our dinner at Sakae Sushi… not much can talk on that moment… because all of us are eating and ordering… hehe… then we went to a place to take now our “gang’s photo” cannot say “班级照” la… cause just 4 of us nia… haha… then finish our 1 day trip at 1 u jor lo… hoho… ah c going back to Australia soon… so fast finish his holiday and going back jor… huhuhu… miss you soon… haha…. below are the photos.....

finally we back jor... take inside the car...

haha.. actually le.. we taking the photo in front of mirror.. nice le.. how we take it le?? who know?? but take not so nice.. my face looks like very very round.... haiz...

i don know wat they are talking.. y pei yung like this and ball like this... haha...

finish eating lo... take a photo to the empty plate xin...

guess wat is the paint... the painter is pei yung...

cheers~~~ some one de already eat till half jor le... haiz.. no cooperation 1... haiz..

this 2 people try to eating wasabi... swt... if i ate this, i swear, wont touch it anymore....

tim!! take this la.. wahaha...i dont know he is promoting the tie or his teeth... =_=

haha.. i like this photo.. the feel very nice... hehe.. of course la.. i take de ma...

幕后花絮 (Genting trip)

2008-07-03T14:32:00.011+08:00

Actually le, this photo we just wan to take 3 of us nia.. but after they notices tat we going to take photo, straight away pusing at take it.. so spoil jor this photo.. i like this very much de le.. =.=

this 1 not cute lo.. this 1 call "hao"... wahaha...

Our special guest - eng lim.. acting cute as usual...

huh?? who take this photo while i don know?? y take wen i not ready?? :(

even myself also cannot tahan this photo.. looks like a ghost.. wahaha.. don know y the face so white and the mouth so red.. hehe..

3 ppl don know acting wat.. wahaha.. preparing going out walk walk...

take down the beautiful nite view.. but maybe is because my phone not so pro.. so cannot take so cantik.. hehe..

take wen they just wake up.. hehe.. c la.. 3 ppl sleep on a queen size bed, but wan yin already sleep half jor.. now can fit me?? so pity...

sweet memory

2008-07-02T08:22:00.001+08:00

On the 29th of June 2008, we having a small trip to genting… 5 people are going to involve in this trip, they are, chew peng (of course lo, if not why I writing this blog le?? Hehe), Wan yin, Pei yung, balloon, and Royce… because of ball buy the bus ticket on 9.30 am, then we all need go to the station terminal putra very early, wen I reach there, Royce and ball already waiting there, after tat is pei yung, then where is wan yin?? She late jor lo… after we get in the bus, we still haven’t saw her shadow yet… that’s why ball need to wait her at the station… pity ball, surrounding by the uncle and auntie, (which we think that they cannot wait to lose their money) they wan to exchange their ticket with ball. As what ball said, after 1 min our bus goes, wan yin reaches…
Finally, we all met at the cable sky station, we found out that there have many people are going to genting, maybe is because of that day is Sunday, even morning also have many people waiting at the station.
We wait around 30 min, then we get in the cable car. Then we reach genting lo!! Hehe… the first thing we gonna to do is check in the hotel. Initially, the receptionist arrange a room for us, I have a lot of comment on that room, because that room full of smelly and far from the lobby… some more my shoe was spoil in that room tim!! So sui ar… after that we request to change another room, what they provide to us is a room which only has 1 queen size bed and a single bed. Pity ball need to sleep at the floor. (Because he loses in a “morra” with Royce) After that we went to having our lunch at burger king with eng lim. Finish our lunch, Royce saids that he is very tired, that’s why he is going to hotel having a nap. Since Pei yung underage, so she cannot get in casino. But… finally she gets in, because we make in to be age… (How we make it?? Shhhhh… secret… hehe) all of us luck also not bad, so can take some “pocket money” from uncle lim… hehe… We wen back to hotel wen we felt tired… then having some non-sense talk, bathing, gaming… after that we having a night walk and having a supper before we go back to zzz…
On the next day, we going to first world’s casino, but very less table are open at non-smoke area, that why we decide going back to the genting hotel’s casino. Wen we reach there, we only realize that almost of the table are open at 12.00-12.30 pm. Then we stay at there around 1-2 hours then we decide going out to have a wall climbing at the first wall hotel’s there. How bout our result?? All of us had taken out some “pocket money” from them and going back… hehe… the rank is: me, wan yin, Pei yung, ball and Royce… if I not mistaken lo…
Wall climbing also got rank de le… hehe… almost of the people think that if 5 of us going to having a wall climbing, for sure can predict the result, right?? But some time we cannot think from this way. There have around 10 level to reach the top of the wall… almost of the people can reach around 6/7 level, but got one person, even 6 level also cannot reach, that people don’t wan me going to mention name, but we know geh… hehe…
After wall climbing then we going to buy ticket lo… next time I wont get in such bus again… really oh my god wen we on the way going back to kl. We were going to kl central to have our “tea time” (because I don know can say lunch or dinner) at sushi king. I never saw 1 sushi king like this, the customer just 4 of us (Pei yung going back early) and the tape didn’t move before we get in. only 1 word can say, bad… after having the sushi, then we going back lo… finish our genting trip… hehe… I quite enjoy on this trip, and hoping can have one more… hehe… but I know recently wont be jor, because we need to work, need to study some more, so where got so many time? So I decide to write down every thing which happens on the genting, because that is a sweet memory for me.

damn sui

2008-06-19T17:03:00.002+08:00

recently i damn sui ar.. really beh tahan jor.. many problem are coming.. i don know is i cannot handle the things well lead appear alot of problem or wat.. really tired to handle this kind of shit problem, to find the way to solve it.. who are very very lucky de, share some to me la.. i really need it, although a little is enough for me..

today really no mood la.. suddenly squabble with one of my best friend.. the detail things i don wan to talk more here la, but i really hurt wen he say like this.. before that, we always arguing many things but i nvr felt like today.. i damn angry wen he say like this.. i treat he as my best friend, but maybe he arent, tat's y he dare to say this kind of things to me.. i tot i am his best friend also.. seems v talk alot of secret between each other.. haiz.. sad things don wan so too much jor la..

one more things, actually now i'm waiting someone who send the apologizing from a person.. almost of my friend also known that, i doesnt like ppl who didnt reply msg to me. if got reasonable's excuse maybe i wil be accept la.. y?? because i doesnt like the feel which waiting ppl reply me the msg lo.. maybe tat ppl don care whether wan to reply msg to me or not, but i care!! how i know y tat ppl don wan send back the msg to me?? i wil think tat am i did something wrong on him/her?? i will think alot.. so, pls la..don let me think alot of these kind of things although i know this all is non-sense things..i don think so tat ppl wil c this blog, cause i think tat ppl not interest bout reading this kind of blog.. but i really hope tat all of my friend, pls don do this on me, although tat is normal to u, but pls spend some time to reply a msg to me, i think wont be waste alot of money and time de, isnt??

kena "chan" by boss

2008-06-12T14:54:00.001+08:00

Yesterday (12/6/08) I took an emergency leave to make an appointment with the doctor, therefore I didn’t go to office. Alhtough I didn’t back office, i also can get some info about me from my colleage. My boss gets in office and checks the things I done (interim valuation). He found that I got make some mistaken on the interim valuation that makes the whole things cannot release to client. After that, he says with my colleage that I still thinking like a “student”… After I hear this, I was think, in fact I’m still a student, because I havent graduated yet… I know what he expects we become like our senior which has been work with him about 5 years, but, can we be like her in a short period?? I cannot say that he pushes us so much but I don’t like him treat me like this! Every time what he talk to me and what he talk to my senior is different! For example, he says that figure is ok already, I can proceed it… But what he talk with my senior is slighty different! He asks my senior help me to reduce the figure to that figure that he want… if really like this, then why he don’t want tell me himself and want my senior told me?? I wanna know why, am I done anything mistake that make him don’t wan straight aways told me what he want? Really tired to work to a boss like this, because I really don’t understand what he is thinking and what he will do. He says my mind still thinking like a student, every minor things also wana ask his decision then only I proceed it, but, isnt got any wrong on me?? Or I need to be more independent while I’m working?? Haiz… fan la…

petro price increase again

2008-06-05T16:33:00.002+08:00

As the title above, the petro price increase again this year, from RM1.92 to RM2.70.. really oh my god, totally increase about 78 cents! i just read the news today, still got someone from government saying that this is reasonable! wat is reasonable? if you want to increase, y suddenly increase so many?? Make people more suffer on it. Not every one have a high and fix salary, suddenly increase so much, will they can support the fees? Money refund? got use meh? is the same thing only, we still need to pay so many to "feed" our car. haiz..

fail

2008-05-30T09:03:00.000+08:00

I don’t know why I create this blog home always writing the bad and sad things. Haiz... Just want to let myself know that I fail again. The 2nd time I need to face the failure, I hate myself, I doesn’t like to hear this kind of sound. Make myself very suffer. I always ask myself, why I will fail? Why should I fail? But, I always cannot get the answer that what I want. People like to lie to themselve, of course I am. I try to find other excuse to let myself feel better to face it, but in fact that won’t be better. I make all friend and family who take care of me disappointed. I really hope can graduate together with them, attend convocation with them, but I know, since the result release jor, what I think is impossible to be comes true. I already think what should I did if I pass, of course I had thinking what whould I did if I fail, so now, I no need to think about that jor, I gonna to make myself up and challenge it again, who am i?? Tan Chew Peng le! So easy give up de meh?? No! I won’t!! Thanks for you all de support!! Next time remembers attend my convo wo... Then I will receive many flower and present jor... hehe... Thinking positive... sad of course got la, but I know I will recover soon… 我是打不死的小强！

21st Birthday??

2008-05-26T15:13:00.005+08:00

My 21st Birthday just pass about 1 month.. how to celebrate?? actually i quite not happy wen i notice tat i need to sit for my exam during my birthday! some more tat paper actually quite hard for me and i scare i cannot pass at all. every time hear ppl says tat birthday girl very lucky 1, but, not really lo.. the most lucky things is the exam was held in morning.. so i can enjoy my birthday after my exam.. after exam i wen to meet wan yin at pj with balloon.. they are the only 2 friend able to celebrate with me on tat day..we go to secret recipe to have our lunch.. ya lo.. wan yin haven't give me the photo take we take on tat day le.. hehe.. got to chase with her jor.. actually tat more like gathering than celebrate my birthday.. wahaha.. tats what i feel on it la.. after that i wan back to attend another activity is waiting me.. that is, going sing k with my dearest sister.. that's what i done on my birthday.. hehe..
i had went out with my college friend on the following Saturday. this also looks like a small gathering.. haha.. i doesn't like to ask many ppl out, that's y i ask some with are more closer with me de out only.. but after that i got a sudden call make our "gathering" finish so early.. haiz..
beside this 2 things i did during my birthday week, i also got wen out wit friend la.. although tat "bad taste" ppl give me a bad taste present, but stil very appreciated la.. hehe.. don angry wo.. just spread my feeling at here only.. wahaha.. and.. someone is owing me my present.. need to write now to make a evidence.. hehe.. next time i read this blog back then i will chase with her jor.. friend which close to me de also know who i'm mentioning gua?? wahaha.. k la.. that's all my "presentation" on the topic of "my 21st birthday" thank you.. hehe..

the meeting is not nice de!!

2008-05-23T17:29:00.000+08:00

Today I went for the technical meeting for a project call UiTM at Puncak Alam. This time is the 3rd time I went to meeting. If you ask me what feeling went you attend a meeting, and then I will tell you, that is not a funny matter. DAMN BORING!! Actually I went to meeting with my colleague, we just sat there listen they talking/ telling the things which are not related to us some more need to listen they talking non-sense things. Meeting is not like what I think went I never go there before.
I still can remember the 1st time I notice that I will go to attend a meeting with my boss, I was very excited and nervous went I know it, it is because I don’t know what will going on that meeting. Actually the 1st meeting for me is ok de. During the meeting, I know what they are saying and I go there with well prepare. Although finally didn’t say anything on what I prepare, but I think I had learn a lot on the things that we won’t be learn at college.
Ok.. Now explain what is technical meeting that I understand.. Technical meeting is something like report the progress on the site. Contractor and consultant plus the representative of client sat together and having a meeting. Normally is once a month. Consultant or client have any problem can ask the contractor to do or explain what they done on site.

cry

2008-05-22T12:21:00.000+08:00

i don know other people will feel like this or not la.. but sometimes i feel tat i wan to cry suddenly.. i also don know y it will be happen.. some people tel me tat maybe is because so stress already.. reach a certain level cannot tahan already then u will feel like tat..then i wil ask myself.. did i?? actually i don know.. some friend told me before, don keep everything inside.. u wil feel suffer.. but wat i think is, i don wan my friend sad together wit me.. because i know wat is the feeling of sadness.. i don wan my friend feel tat also.. so sometime i wil be feel like tat.. wen i face this kind of problem, i wil ask my friend to do things to make me smile and forget the things.. i know actually the sadness wont be solve so easily.. wat can i do??

bad luck

2008-05-17T12:15:00.000+08:00

this is the 1st time i write a blog here.. but not the happy matters.. last 2 weeks ago, i had lost my handphone.. actually until now i also cannot believe the truth.. how going on?? haiz...
actually is like this de.. tat day i back from my work place, inside my car i had make call to my sis asking her location to fetch her back to home together.. wen v reach home, inside the car, i ask her remember to bring her phone which put inside the car together with mine 1.. after tat i wen to my room, put down everything and wen to hav dinner.. after dinner then only i realize tat my phone was gone!! i cannot found my phone inside my bag, and every place i usually wil put! i wen make cal to tat phone using my sis's phone but fail! for ur information, tat phone was fully charge yesterday! then y v can't make cal to tat phone?? i think got somebody purposely off the phone.. i really don know y wil be like this.. haiz.. really damn sui ar!!!

外在的堅強，內心的脆弱

孤单情人节

角色

合久必分？

感想

言论自由

改变

一个女人的矜持

最后的一句话

扮美美

滥好人

短发

讲话

i have no choice?

世纪贱男

我们要自己成全自己幸福

it's ridiculous!!

影子

最近的心声

好累好累

该相信什么？什么该相信？

受伤

我并不可怕

一个人的七夕

就在今天2010年的七夕节，原以为有个人会陪我度过的日子，又让我想起了他... 原因是我知情的朋友在我上班时问我一句：你知道他在面子书写什么吗？我说不知道，结果.. 好奇心驱使下，我去看了，他写：

不闻不问，也是一种爱的方式可以表现出漠不关心的生活，是为了给对方更多自由的空间..这样对吗？

荒缪的日子

我有那么差吗?

怎麼了怎麼了？？

一个人的生活

朋友

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有??

Avril Lavigne - my happy ending

做facial

我真的变了吗?

processing period

给自己的话

working status

act cool??

selling flower?? nitemare..

回应

作麒的假期

Nice moment at sushi king

food and others~~~

photo capture during the melacca + seremban trip

melacca + seremban trip at 1st of Oct 2008

finally...

shit guy

one day trip at-------> 1 U

幕后花絮 (Genting trip)

sweet memory

damn sui

kena "chan" by boss

petro price increase again

fail

21st Birthday??

the meeting is not nice de!!

cry

bad luck

不闻不问，也是一种爱的方式

可以表现出漠不关心的生活，是为了给对方更多自由的空间..

这样对吗？